Dreamwalker

Eight days ago, I finally started what I have been saying I'd do for years: quit smoking. I say started because I know this is a fight that is going to take a while. I'm going to have to take this one day at a time. One week at a time. Hence my first post about it. It's been a week since I smoked my last cigarette!!!

After my previous post, I realized that I had that rant about gratefulness late in December. For the record, I take it back. I was having one heck of a difficult time - my family was. Imagine being hit by a bus, then managing to try to stand up, only to get hit by another one. Then imagine this happening again. And again. That's how it was.

Ever since I moved into this homey  condo I call home, I've found myself being quite the house person. I used to have someone do the cleaning for me. My previous place had more modern amenities and was freshly painted when I moved in. All I had to worry about was cooking - which wasn't a worry because I love cooking, and when I didn't feel like, I would just take the elevator and walk out the building and take my pick of the restaurants in the area. Now, I sweep and mop the floor, vacuum the carpet, scrub the bathroom and kitchen, etc. on a regular basis. And you know? I enjoy it, too! It gives one a sense of satisfaction knowing you're doing things on your own.

If I got a dollar every time I've seen or heard this line, I probably could go buy my own island and live there forever. Or not. The thing is, we've all been taught that gratefulness is a virtue. It is a good thing. It is one of the key ingredients to happiness. That there is always something to be grateful for - as that image shows. But what about those times when all you can feel, find, and see are things you can't be grateful for? I remember being taught the concept of "in everything give thanks; in every situation". Boy, have I gone a long way from there. No one likes a Debbie Downer, but pardon me. I just can't buy into these concepts these days.

Sometimes I surprise myself. This self-proclaimed mall-hater found herself at the mall the second time in a month. On a rainy Saturday afternoon. The weekend before Christmas. Crazy, right? There's a perfectly rational explanation for this, as I met up with the person buying my PS3. (I've been selling stuff that has been serving as dust collectors in the past months/years.) So I found myself at the mall after the meetup.