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Monday Pick Me Upper: Hipster Olympics

Feel like watching something silly on this Monday morning? Here, take 10 minutes of your time to relax before you do anything serious, and watch the Hipster Olympics. The video's been around for several years now, but it's still worth wasting your time.

It IS very silly, and you might be tempted to stop watching somewhere in the middle, but trust me and wait till the end?



Chase away those Monday blues, people. Have a great week ahead!

Monday Pick Me Upper: Funny Pics

College Humor may not be the most proper thing in the world, but I cannot deny just how much it cracks me up at times. Here are some photos that are sure to turn that Monday frown upside down.

The hunter is now the hunted. =)) I am pretty sure this is fake, but hey, it's funny.
And, this folks, is what happens when man's best friend eats man's "herbs"
Now, this is what my friends should do for their wedding invites. I just might say yes without equivocation!

Monday Pick Me Upper: Just for Today

It has been a tough week, and I dare say that this week just might even be tougher. I tried shaking up my routine by getting some sleep last night and waking up at 5 in the morning, and so far, it seems that I just can't shake off the blues. I am keeping it at bay, but boy, do I know things can come crashing down on me any time! I can't find any funny stuff to post for today's pick me upper, but here's a short poem that just might help.

Just For Today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to …

Monday Pick Me Upper: When People Play with Food

When we were growing up, I remember our elders telling us repeatedly NOT to play with food. I wonder what the parents of the artists behind these works of art told them?

(I got these images from a friend who sent them to me in an e-mail. Some of you might have seen these already, but they are just too cute!)I think I'll call them penggplants.
Poor third wheel!
They remind me of papooses (not sure about the pluralization of that).
And for the clincher - one kick ass apple!

Have a FUN Monday, everyone!

Monday Pick Me Upper: Gambling Man

I have been digging through my old e-mails from many many years ago, and I came across a drinking-gambling joke that always made me laugh. I am so bad when it comes to gambling - I never win - so I think this story is hilarious. Hope it cheers you up today!
A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "No problem sir, but I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. Well, the bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler", replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things" said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender. "Well, for example, I'll be…

Monday Pick Me Upper: The Hairdryer Story

Getting a hairdryer through Customs...A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course child, what may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hairdryer for my Mother's birthday, which is unopened and well over the Customs' limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the Priest go ahead of her. The official asked "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I hav…

Monday Pick Me Upper: Four Management Lessons

I got this in an e-mail, and I couldn't help but laugh. I am out of the corporate setting now, but these lessons aren't any less funny.

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy". "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach …

Monday Pick Me Upper: Funny Kids

You just gotta love funny pictures of kids. I just got done watching Kick Ass for the nth time, so I am in the kiddie mode. I got these photos from an e-mail from a friend, and I think they just might brighten your day.
Isn't he adorable? I would scream too, if that guy picked me up! Ingenious girl! I think he's screaming m*therf*#$er!

Monday Pick Me Upper Delayed: Meltdown

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,

The PRINCESS..

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.


No matter what;

Metal,

Wood,

Stone,


Anything she touched would melt..



Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.


The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?



He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,


'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'


The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.



The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth..

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.





But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
.




Monday Pick Me Upper: Funny French Idioms

Time for a language lesson, folks. I know we all know a bit of French - we all say "Pardon my French" every now and then, right? ;)
I bet that you'd be pleasantly surprised at real French, though. A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I got on this French idioms kick. What's really amusing is the literal English translation of some of these idioms. A little searching via Google helped me continue my laughing streak for a while... C'est la fin des haricots.In English: It's the last straw or that's the end of it.
Literal Translation: That's the end of the beans. Les carottes sont cuites.In English: I've had it.
Literal Translation: The carrots are cooked.
Devenir chêvreIn English: To become enraged
Literal Translation: To become a goat
Pleuvoir des cordesIn English: To rain cats and dogs
Literal Translation: To literally rain ropes


Here's a special favorite of mine:

Chantez pour une bourrique, elle vous donnera des crottes.

Literal translation: Sing for…

Monday Pick Me Upper: Funny Signs

It's back! I finally have more time to spend on this blog, and the first thing I told myself I would do is to bring back Monday Pick Me Uppers.
Yesterday in church, the pastor showed us some funny signs as an introduction to his message. That gave me the inspiration to go look for other signs that cracked me up.
I think that they should have this sign all over Eastwood; have a special sign to be put up on Friday nights...

I wouldn't want my kids to go to this school! On the other hand, the stuff's free...

Whoever put up that sign was just asking for it, right? I bet even if you weren't planning on doing some target shooting, you would do it just because of the sign.

The other right, dumba#$!
Have a fun week, everyone!

Monday Pick Me Upper: Broke Wind

No need to explain this, huh?

Monday Pick-me-upper: Redneck Baby

I forgot that it's Monday - time for a pick me upper! I got this image from an ex-student through e-mail. I hope I don't offend anyone - it IS politically incorrect, but hey, just for laughs!
They call it the redneck baby chair and teething set in one!

Monday Pick Me Upper: The Nun at Hooters

The Nun at Hooters sadly needing to use the rest-room, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the rest-room?
The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the rest-room?’
‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?…

Monday Pick-me-upper: Don't Stop Believing

Younger kids will recognize this song from American Idol or Glee. People my age - or older - will know the Journey version. Whichever version you know, there is no denying that this song is a powerful one, both in words and music.
I finally watched Glee last night, after hearing everyone rave about it. To be honest, I find the plot a little "half-baked," as Hannah says it. There are too many stereotypes. Still, the overall effect of the show is to make you feel GOOD!


Glee - Don't Stop Believe
Uploaded by Bugabookas. - Check out other Film & TV videos.
Don't stop believing, guys. There are so many good things in life - you just have to take the time to SEE them.
P.S. It's a Tuesday but it felt like a Monday to me, hence this pick me upper.

Monday Pick-me-upper: Chuck Norris Facts Revisited

Photo credit: ROFL Indian
It's time for Chuck Norris again! You may not be aware of it, but he is the greatest - ever! There's even a web site just for facts about him! I posted some of my favorite facts a long way back, here are some more. They will definitely pick you up on a Monday morning!

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. - I could use this skill!

Chuck Norris can divide by zero. - I knew all along that something was not right with all those math classes I took in college!

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000. - I'll do this when I take my exam in November. Maybe I'll be number one, lol.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. - Moonlight???

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. - ha ha ha, I am NOT Chuck Norris!

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhou…

Monday Pick-me-upper: Best Turkey Stuffing Recipe

All this talk about Thanksgiving...I found a recipe for stuffing a turkey.
Ingredients: º 5 C. Bread Crumbs
º 1 C. Chopped Onion
º 112 C. Popcorn (Unpopped)
º 1/4 C. Parsley
º 3 C. Giblet broth
º 1-1/2 teaspoon Sage
Mixing Instructions:1. Chop giblets fine. Mix all ingredients in broth.2. Stuff turkey loosely. Bake slowly at 350º approximate3. 5 hours or until popcorn blows the turkey's ass off. Think it will work?

Monday Pick Me Upper: How Fights Start

Ever wonder how fights start? To all married people out there, here is something to make you chuckle, or maybe even have a good laugh, on a Monday morning.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started...

Well how about I sell the TV and put that weighing scale on mounts instead? Would that be a nice anniversary present?

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight sta…