Dreamwalker

Today, I was told that whenever I feel low and start getting agitated - which I have been a lot in recent times - I should name three things that I am grateful for. This is something that many of us know in theory - a grateful heart is the best cure for the blues. In practice, though, it is not always that easy. It's like saying "Think positively", "Control your thoughts", and so on.

In any case, I do want to have a more positive outlook and to stop feeling blue all the time. So here I am, naming three things I am grateful for today. Taking things one step further, I am writing them on my blog so I am accountable to the handful of people who actually read my ramblings.

It hasn't been an easy time for me lately. Not for a while. There have been sporadic periods of pure awesomeness, but I have to admit that I am not handling things very well. I have a lot to be thankful for, but I also have a lot that stresses me out. Or maybe, I am adding to the "ambient stress" myself. Who knows?

I found this apt poster on Pinterest, which I think will be in my head regularly.

So my yearning for a ukelele has somehow abated. Somehow.

I've been distracted by certain events that happened over the weekend. I have not been hiding my excitement about a weekend trip to the beach, but for some reason, plans fell through. I could have sulked - was tempted actually - but I've been trying to avoid negativity in my life, so I thought, might as well make the most of things.

So there I was on a Saturday afternoon...

You've been/gone through so much.

I've heard that statement more times than I could count in the past several years. I've said it to myself even more times.

It has its merits. It makes you more understanding. It can make you feel stronger. Sometimes.

There is, however, a point when standing on that statement of fact doesn't quite cut it anymore.


You've been through a lot.

Sure. Maybe not everyone has to go through what I have gone through, but it doesn't mean that that has to be a crutch.

No more excuses. Time to throw away that crutch.

Then again, I know I'm on a "strong" cycle right now. It might change tomorrow. These things always do, but in the meantime. I'll ride this wave.

So what if I've had more than my share of shitty experiences? So what if I fall again tomorrow? I think of Rainier Maria Rilke:

“Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final”