Dreamwalker

Courtesy of Rachel Yamagata. Pardon the use of the F-word...

I can understand all that you are
I can even take all that you're not
I can sympathize with all you want to be
But don't fuck me in front of me

I can even scores with the best of them
I can leave my innocence at bay
You can turn your back on my sincerity
But don't fuck me in front of me

How could they, they wait
I saw the look you gave her
Breathe in again
May god the world do say you hurt

I could say I blame you for everything
Instead I think I'll recognize my part
Needing doesn't hide who I want to be
But don't fuck me in front of me
Yeah,
Don't fuck me in front of me

Guess what I did on Friday night? Contrary to what most people do on this night, I went home straight from the office. I was already tired and was looking forward to spending some time in the new place - I had fun!

Better yet, Vicki dropped by during her break and we went down to eat. She got something from Subway and I tried the place next door, Tsoko Nut Batirol. It's really a dessert place, featuring Filipino food. I tried their hot chocolate made of the local cocoa tablet and an ensaymada (very light pastry topped with cream and Edam cheese) - for PHP99! I don't normally like ensaymada but this was GOOOD. I guess I will be going there more often. :)

On another note, Vicki was telling me about how she had to buy lots of new closed toe shoes for her new job, and again, I found myself wanting to go shopping. I have no closed toe shoes and maybe I should go ahead and get a couple of pairs; maybe some Beautifeel shoes would be a good idea as well. Can't wait for next…

We have visitors at the office this week till the next. They're members of our team from the US, and they have been going around all week shopping, finding it a delight to buy all sorts of stuff from our bazaars. Now I hate shopping but seeing all those goodies suddenly woke up "shopping urges" that have long lain dormant inside of me.

Now I want to go to Greenhills to get some bags (you can never have enough of them), rugs (for the living room), paintings, photo frames, etc. It is weird to be wanting to go shopping for me...

For those of you who have been following this blog, you would know what I mean by my "clothes hanger." It's this elliptical bike that I bought a year ago. I used it several times, and then it ended up doubling as a clothes hanger. :)

Now I have to sell it because there is no space in our new condo. There are a lot of cool things we can do here with regard to furnishings. We have added curtain rods, some hooks, and other little things like that. We're actually thinking of getting new faucets (Danze faucets has a promo going on) and shower fixtures, but big things like the bike have to go. Anyone interested?

There's this country song by Tim McGraw (if I am not mistaken) that talks about a person turning 30 and promising to himself that he would live a better life in his next 30 years. I liked the song when I first heard it and told myself that I would try to do the same thing when I turned 30. Now I am here, and it seems that I am actually taking baby steps towards a better me.

It's not like I am doing all that radical stuff like colon cleansing, yoga, etc., but as I posted yesterday, am walking more, eating less (I think!) and generally feeling better. I think that I shall come up with a more specific plan of action to achieve my still hazy goals in the next few weeks. Heck, I might even join the gym down the road!

(Numi, is that you???)

See that? That's the couch that gave us so much trouble in the beginning, but is giving us so much pleasure right now. We decided to get rid of our old leatherette love seats when we moved, so we had to go find ourselves a replacement. Unfortunately, it was not as easy as we thought it would be. The affordable ones were crappy and the one we liked were priced astronomically.

After hours of looking, we found one overstuffed couch that we fell in love with as soon as we sat down. We spent another 30 minutes or so determining whether or not it would fit in the elevator - I even called the condo admin to make sure. We finally got it into the back of the truck and headed on home, only to find out that no matter how much we tried, we couldn't fit it in the elevator.

So back we went to the store to get a replacement. We weren't able to make up our minds till the next day and we ended up with this lovely camel-brown whatever color you want to call it three-piece thingie. …

I am so tired that my eyes are closing on their own, and it's not even 10:30 pm yet! For some strange reason, I am not feeling bad nor am I feeling an ounce of depression. Truth be told, I feel quite happy these days. Maybe it's because of the move? It might have cured my restlessness. I am leaning towards the idea that walking to work and back home is helping. While it only takes me 5 minutes, even less, I feel much better. Now maybe I don't have to even consider some of the best diet pills out there to shed some of this unwanted baggage that I have!

I feel like I am caught in a whirlwind. Moving in to a condo a stone's throw from your office the weekend before your boss comes over for a 2-week stay is both a good and bad idea. It is good because you can sleep in and still not be late for work. It is bad because you can stay out later than you normally do and just walk home. I am loving it but during the day, I find myself staring at the office furniture and yearning for my big comfy couch. I really want to post pictures but I cannot find the cable for the camera (the move and all).

I think that tonight I shall not go out. It was funny last night because Jerry got home at 10 and he teased me about role reversal. I guess we're both not used to me being the one out at night and him being at home. That's what being caught up in a whirlwind does to me? ;)

You Are The Heart




You are very industrious. Working hard makes you feel good.

You are powerful and strong. Some people may think you're fragile, but you're not in the least.



You are steady and reliable. You keep going no matter what.

However, you do tend to react to situations. Stress makes you speed up.

What Internal Organ Are You?

Some may say that I do not have a heart. Maybe it's because I AM THE HEART? Lol...that's lame...:p

It's been a crazy weekend for us, and the week is passing my by so quickly. We were able to move on Saturday and we have pretty much settled in, but there is a ton of other stuff to do: apply for Internet, cable, telephone, etc.

Work is also crazy as well, but everything is just so great - I have not felt this positive in a long time, and I am loving it! I don't know, but maybe it's waking up to natural sunshine, with lots of bright light coming in, and fresh air too. Maybe it's the fact that we don't have this subconscious thought that we might get some disease like mesothelioma due to the poor ventilation and construction of our apartment. I know that's exaggerating things, but hey, the ambiance does make a lot of difference.

I gotta run now, but I will write a more detailed post as soon as I get the chance. Pics to follow as well.

Last night, I ate some ice cream and had a cup of warm milk before going to bed. I found myself almost fainting sometime around 7pm, and I knew that I had to get some sleep - NO MATTER WHAT. Of course, feeling the need to sleep only made matters worse. I had to stare at the ceiling - which I could barely see since our room is totally dark at night - and roam around the house (it takes 1 minute to cover the entire floor area) for an hour or two before my mind wandered as I fell into dreamland. Anyhow, in those last moments before I fell asleep, I suddenly remembered that Patrick Rothfuss's second book in the Kingkiller's Chronicles was due to be released this April. At least that's what Amazon has been saying since last year.

When I checked my Facebook this morning, this is what I saw.
Now, put yourself in my shoes. What would you have thought? YES - I thought for sure that the second book, The Wise Man's Fear had been released and that Pat was enjoying his success…

Here in the Philippines, this week is called Holy Week, starting on Holy Monday, ending on Easter Sunday. I suppose that in most other countries where Christianity is the main religion, the same thing applies, but I think that it is only here in the Philippines that this week is such a huge thing.

I remember that as a child, everything would be planned out for the whole family during this week. Good Friday would usually be spent in church, attending a special worship service called "7 Last Words." This service is a commemoration of the last hours of Christ as a human being on earth. Saturday would be spent preparing for the Easter service, which is normally held at sunrise (around 5:30am). After the sunrise service, we would all have breakfast at church, with each family bringing their share. Those are memories that I will always cherish....

Now, I feel the urge to go back to those roots. It's 4pm on Easter Sunday and I was not even able to go to church. I was plan…

This is the second day of our long weekend, and it has been the two laziest days of my life (at least this year). I haven't been doing anything but stay at home, but I still feel kinda tired. Getting old, I suppose. At least I still do not have the need to pick up packs of adult diapers when I go to the grocery store. Anyhow, I am rambling again, maybe it's because I just want to get the move over with. One more week and maybe I'll feel better again.

For some reason, an old song that my mom used to sing all the time keeps playing in my head. I do not remember it except for one line..."The green green grass of home..." Anyone know this song?

Anyhow, it is making think...maybe I am a bit homesick. Maybe I need the comfort that only my "real" home can give. Despite the fact that I left my parents' house around 15 years ago, I still consider that my home. Ever get that feeling sometimes?

It's also making me think of another aspect of green - the greener grass on the other side. As I was browsing through my favorite blogs, I read about how my blogger friends in the US are cold, and how they want the sun. (Maybe they should go to Florida or Texas and stay at a nice hotel by the beach or any of the numerous Dallas Texas hotels.) Me, I am yearning for a bit of respite from the heat that we are experiencing now. It's not even the height of summer and yet it is SO hot, you won't believe it.

And yeah…

I have not seen our handbook yet but I sure hope it doesn't look anything like this:

The Office of Non-Compliance Association Employee Handbook

Attendance and punctuality: All employees must give at least two weeks notice before calling in sick. (or maybe have to go get a medical certificate for a brain freezing migraine that downs you for a day?)

Appearance/Dress Code:

Females: All female employees are required to wear make up and mini skirts.

Males: Anything goes! However, you are required to make sure the female dress code is being implemented.

Sexual Harassment and Workplace Bullying: Any employee caught filing complaints to these matters will be framed and terminated expeditiously.

Pay Raises - This is a rumor. Any employee caught spreading this vicious mendacity will be put on immediate suspension. (ohhh crap...)

Maternity Leave: You got pregnant on your time, then be sure to have the baby on your time as well. (yeah, make sure you go into labor Friday night, give birth in a fe…

To some people, maybe, but to those who went to college in UP (or nearby schools), isaw is more like everyday fare.

I still remember when I was a freshman. I hated it. I hated the new faces. I hated having to stay in a dorm. I hated the common bathrooms. I hated the noisy jabbering of the people in my wing. I hated having to participate in dorm activities. I hated having to follow the curfew. Most of all, I disdained the food that I had to eat in the dorm cafeteria.

But there is one day that I will never forget: the day that I discovered isaw.

I had never tasted isaw before that day. As a child, I had a sensitive tummy, and practically anything strange that I ate would send me to bed, wriggling in pain. It would also set off a series of visits to the loo. As such, my parents would always steer me away from "street food" as we call it here.

So you can just imagine how much I steered clear of the isaw place in front of Kalayaan, the dorm for freshmen in UP. More ofte…

What's your greatest weakness? That's one question that I like asking when doing interviews. For me, being able to comfortably talk about your weakness is already a sign of strength; something that you would want a person to have. If you are aware of your weakness, then you are not a slave to it. You can do something about it.

Not that I am comfortable talking about my weaknesses. In fact, I probably would not - even in my wildest of dreams - like talking about these things. Tonight, though, I was reminded of one of my main flaws: being a loner, shying away from company especially when something is bothering me. Heck, I have been known to push friends away when they try to reach out and help.

This is really making me feel uncomfortable and I do not know how to express my thoughts accurately. One song keeps playing in my head, though:

I get by with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my frie…

No, it's not a pill.

And it's not alcohol even.

Food? Nope.

What could it be???

Try getting stuck in a tiny elevator with 6 other people.

Last night, our country manager took our team out to dinner. By the way, it was really good. We ate at Old Vine - I forget what their specialty is but I had some beef and salad with saffron rice. It was heavenly! Afterward, we got a couple of drinks, went to his condo, and listened to him and Monnette play the piano. Our teammate EJ sang as well. It was a very relaxing evening. And then it was time to go home.

You see, all throughout the night, Guillaume played really sad songs. There was this one song about a dead baby. Then he played a song about a dead mom. The pieces were moving.

In contrast, Monnette and EJ liked songs about love. In fact, Guillaume remarked that we Filipinos liked love songs too much. Naturally, we couldn't help but say something along the lines of "And you French like songs about dead people?" It …

I have bouts with insomnia every now and then but it hasn't been this bad since forever. For the past week, I have been having trouble falling asleep at night. I'd get 2 to 4 hours of sleep. The weird thing is that I feel manic all throughout the day! Worse, it would not abate late at night...and early in the morning.

Last night, I thought that the end (to the battle) had come. I fell asleep almost as soon as I went to bed at midnight. And I didn't wake up till 10 am!

Unfortunately, it seems to be back. It's almost 1 am and I have no inclination to hit the sack.

Suggestions, anyone?

On another note, I just finished watching American Idol. I think I am falling in love with Danny Gokey. I am thrilled with Adam Lambert. And am besotted with Chris (Kris?) Allen. Still, I can't believe that I am following this show!

We were watching NatGeo over the weekend and became engrossed in the migratory patterns of various animals...penguins, salmon, bats, etc. It occurred to me that many animals have to migrate to breed. It's a built in thing. Why don't we humans have this instinct as well?

Then it occurred to me that perhaps we do, but in a different way. Look at us, we might be moving to a new condo in a couple of weeks. Come to think of it, we have not stayed in a single place for longer than 2 years.

Anyhow, while this will entail SO MUCH in terms of money and effort, at least I will be free of a stinking bathroom drain. I will not need spider traps to keep sane. I will not have to push that garage door up and pull it down every freakin' day.

I'm gonna miss our red walls and wonderful lights, though. That is, if we actually leave. Updates here and there...