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Monday Pick Me Upper: Feminist Jokes

March is Women's Month so here are some jokes for you wonderful women out there.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- Shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' Liverpool .'

And they say blondes are dumb...

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A couple are lying in bed.

The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.

On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

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Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death. (Yeah, with our Bamboo shades. I heard that bamboo is the best material for these things. Ask the Chinese! lol)

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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practising to be men.

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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Have a great week everyone!

Comments

  1. AHLAVEET!! The prayer's my favorite. I posted it in my blog...hope you don't mind

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  2. Love it! Got my chuckle on thanks to you. ;-}

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  3. Very. VERY. Funny.

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  4. Too funny! I am blonde too (well, at least that is what my hairdresser and I are saying to everyone!)

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  5. Glad to have made you gals laugh! Happy Women's Month!

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  6. HA HA! Good ones. I love them!

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  7. So loving the prayer too...and it's sooooo apt!

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  8. Love the "..40th wedding anniversary..." one.lol. But very true i'm afraid-we women are really far more loyal and romantic than men!

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  9. You have an award/meme tag over at my place that I think you will like. Come by and check it out.

    http://delaney55.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/how-do-i-love-my-husband/

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  10. these are wonderfull...
    this gna show z machoS tht women are not plays..
    once i asked a men what do you think of "women", guess wat he said?? "We men".

    i immediately tld if women had not been here thn You Men would not av xisted..

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  11. So I guess I'm sure now that feminism is a clever excuse to man bash and hate. I guess women are good at one thing.....

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