Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Got a Plan? I Don't!

I used to have my life all planned out. That was when I was younger and felt that I could conquer the world (confession: sometimes I still think I can).

More than a decade, lots more pounds, and tons of twists and turns later, I look at myself and see someone a bit different from what that younger person envisioned. It's not all that bad - I am still doing pretty okay, but just a few minutes ago, I realized that I don't have a clear vision of myself and where I would be five years down the road. Heck, I don't even have plans for the next year.

Am I regressing or is this just a phase (of indefinite duration)? Is there something wrong with my mentality?

People at my age have settled down or are settling down. They are starting to build their own homes or at least planning to. They have kids - or are planning on starting a family. They have a career path. They have PLANS.

Me? I don't even want my own home. I don't want all those things. I just want to take things as they come and see where the road takes me - literally and figuratively.

Sometimes, a wave of emotion washes over me - something akin to "What the heck are you doing?" When this happens, I go back to a passage from the Bible that got me through the worst time of my life. I may not have concrete life plans for now, but at least I am living, aren't I?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

3 comments:

  1. This post got my attention because I used to have the same plan back in 2000 - I said, "my plan is to have no plan."

    Things changed when I got married and had kids.

    Things changed when my dad died, an estate attorney - who ironically, did not even leave a will....

    Most of the time, unplanned things make a mess of planned things. But holding on to that tiny sliver of hope and to that dream keeps me going like the effing energizer bunny.

    This was actually the same reason why resort-ville.com was created. How do I manage a resort that's unoperational with an overhead expense of 8 salaried workers with no money?

    For that, I have cast my burdens upon Him.

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  2. I have NO PLAN and NO DIRECTION and NO CLUE what I want to do with my life!

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  3. Dan - it reminds me of a quote by Joseph Campbell: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

    Mel - feels good to know I am not alone!

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