Polycystic Ovary Syndrome: Driving Me Crazy

***WARNING: Post may be disgusting for some...it's a woman thing ;)***

I have known that I have this condition for many years now, but I have never really paid much attention to it. After of over a year of not getting my monthly visitor, I started worrying a little bit. I knew I had to see the doctor but I just hate going to the clinic or hospital. When I struggled with a bout of asthma about three weeks ago though, I had to go to the clinic and while I was there, I went to see the OB as well.

Finally, I got started on doing something about PCOS. What is this PCOS anyway? I am no doctor so I got some info from Women's Health, which should explain the condition in a better manner:

Polycystic (pah-lee-SIS-tik) ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to have children, hormones, heart, blood vessels, and appearance. With PCOS, women typically have:

* high levels of androgens (AN-druh-junz). These are sometimes called male hormones, although females also make them (Yup, I got facial hair! :p)
* missed or irregular periods (Told you, over a year without it)
* many small cysts (sists) in their ovaries. Cysts are fluid-filled sacs.

What does this mean for me? Well, aside from the not getting my period thing, I gain weight more than normal (and yeah, no exercise and lots of food does not help either), and it will be hard to get pregnant (yay!).

Well anyway, I have been on medication for three weeks now and today, I took the last of those pills that are supposed to induce menstruation. It is called Provera and it's supposed to jump start the cycle.

Now why am I stressed? Because I haven't gotten it yet. Because I am so afraid that it will not work. I am stressed because of the possibility that the treatment might not work. Not that I want to get pregnant but knowing that something's not right just irks the heck out of me. And here's the clincher - I have to go see the doc again today!

My friends and hubby call me a pill head. I will not hesitate to take pills if I need them, but these past few weeks of taking 3 pills a day (and I am due to start another pill this week on top of what I am already taking) is getting to me. So much effort and I am not seeing any results!

Now tell me why I have the right to be stressed!

Front of the Class

Last week, a friend told me about this movie she had seen on HBO. She was passionate about it, making me want to see it for myself. So yesterday, when she sent me a text message that the movie was on, I hurriedly moved over from the table (where I normally work) to the couch and turned the TV on.

Front of the Class is based on a true story. It is about Brad Cohen's struggle with his condition, Tourette Syndrome, and how he came to accept it as part of himself; how he learned that he could do most anything that other people can; how he chased his dream relentlessly; how he achieved his dream.

The movie was not even halfway over when I found tears endlessly streaming down my face. Maybe it's simply because I have been overly sensitive in the past week. Maybe it's because I have a soft spot for the physically and mentally challenged. Maybe it's because I had a dream once and I kinda lost my way. Maybe it's because I am realizing that it is time to chase that dream again, and it scares me to death.

This movie is excellent for those who have the heart to teach kids, and for those whose desire is to help others. You can learn more about the real Brad Cohen here.

Geek The Library

Quickie before going to work. Here's something that will make your heart pump as fast as anything...a movement called Geek the Library. It's supported by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

The basic premise is to encourage people to share what they "geek" and to push libraries as a resource for what they "geek." Pretty cool huh? Wait till you see the web site.

More info at Forever Geek! Tell me, what do you geek? (I'll post my geeks later on when I have more time.)

Adam Lambert's Cryin'

Aerosmith is one of my all-time favorite bands, and Cryin' is perhaps one of my favorite songs by them. Andy just sent me this song, as recorded by Adam Lambert in the studio. Now I have never been an Adam Lambert fan, although I can't deny how good of a singer and a performer he is. So this is the song (thanks YouTube):



I listened to it many times over. Each time, I couldn't make up my mind - do I like it or what? Again, I can't deny how well he sings. Truth be told, I had goosebumps several times while listening. But then again, I think that nothing beats the Aerosmith version. The passion and power behind Steven Tyler's vocals give the original version something else that Adam - in all his glory - just doesn't have yet. What do you think?

Goofing Around On Dad's Birthday

It was Jer's dad birthday Thursday and we went out to celebrate it, even if he is thousands of miles away. We had a drink at Gweilo's and then went home to call him. Just goofing around with my phone...
Tried to get a decent photo of Jerry while he was talking to dad...

He wouldn't cooperate...

Finally got one...
It was a fun night.

Catch Up Friday

Friday is supposed to be the day when we go out and have fun. The first option is out of the question, but I guess I can say that I am having fun.

Jer got Koryu back today, so I am using her again. Ironically, the tech guys didn't find anything wrong with her. They simply upgraded her BIOS and said that they didn't see any of that stuff we were talking about. I know what I saw, and I can't explain what happened. Anyhow, she's working well, except for that little issue of color bleeding. Am grateful she's back.

That being said, I have tons of catching up to do with regard to my writing. I was able to write here and there on Sparky this week, but it was difficult without Koryu. Now that she's back, all is well again. :)

Not So Lazy Sunday Afternoon

I didn't think that my weekend could get worse. Well actually, if I take on the glass half full perspective, it actually went pretty well. After wasting all of Friday and pretty much all of Saturday, I was still able to get something out of the weekend.

However, this afternoon, my world kinda came crashing down on me. Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration. But this is what happened: I was working on Koryu (my MSI Wind) when the a wide column (about 2 inches) of gray suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Thinking that the display software was just messing up, I restarted. Same thing.

To make the long story short, I tried everything I knew to fix her. I even resorted to using the F3 function - system recovery. I had to transfer all my relevant files to the other partition and reformat and reinstall everything. For a while, it worked - the middle part merely flickered. At least I was still able to see the screen.

Then we went to Metrowalk for a bit of DVD shopping (I also looked around for some clothes and a personalized tote bag but I couldn't find anything that I liked that was reasonably priced). Hoping to find my baby in a usable condition, I excitedly turned her on.

She still has that thing in the middle of the screen. She needs to see a doctor. Now I am using Jerry's Sparky. He's fine but the Sun modem has a hard time with the signal here...

I really hope that Koryu can be fixed tomorrow. :(

Independence Day?

Today is a historical day in the Philippines. It's the day we gained our independence from the US. It's kinda sad that I am not doing anything to commemorate the event. The day is almost over and yet I don't feel anything special. Am I that jaded?

Anyhow, it's a boring day. I just spent an hour vacuuming the sofa. Will do the bed in a bit then go out with friends.

The pfft times are not over yet. I have spent hours online, reading anything and everything. You won't believe the sh*t that is happening out there. The swine flu - yeah it's still raging, accidents (find San Jose motorcycle accident attorneys here), muggings, wars, killings...the list goes on and on. I am just depressing myself even more.

I think I'll go now, find something to eat, and maybe shop. That should make me feel better.

Pfft

That seems to be my favorite word these days. I don't know if it's even a word. By the way, did you know that the Web 2.0 is the nth word to be formally added to the English language? Millionth? I don't remember...our boss sent a link earlier but I forgot the exact figure.

Anyway.

I am sitting here at home trying to figure things out. I should have gone with the girls. We wanted to do something spontaneous.

Like drive to Zambales.

Or Tagaytay.

Ren just wanted to go jump into Mik's newly chlorinated pool. I think they're gonna end up doing that - I hope she doesn't get Mesothelioma cancer or something like that.

Maybe I should have gone. Maybe I shouldn't have thought about the potential consequences. Maybe I should quit being rational and just throw caution to the wind.

Pfft.

ONE

BIG

PFFT.

Swine Flu In Manila?

I hate it how rumors abound in difficult times. The swine flu issue has been so hot, but I never thought that it would get this close to home. I have been hearing about swine flu cases in Manila for the past few weeks but it was only yesterday that I heard about a case here in my neighborhood. They say that it is unconfirmed.

The thing is, you never know what to believe. I'd like to think that it is just a rumor, but what if it were true? I never really worried myself about this, but now I am rethinking plans like traveling and even simply going to the malls. Paranoid?

For vacation (I was going to go tomorrow!), it would probably be better to find a nice isolated place and rent a house for a week or a weekend. Unfortunately, we don't have services here like that of Outer Banks rentals. Or maybe we do, and I am just not aware of it OR it is probably way beyond my price range.

I guess our weekend will be all about football, vacuuming the house, and writing. Doesn't sound too bad, does it?

I Hate Needles and Blood

I have not really written about it, but I have this thing that I've needed to see the doctor about. It's been going on for over a year now, but it was not till last week that I finally went to have it checked. Maybe you've heard of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or something). It's nothing serious (I think) but it does have to be treated.

Anyhow, I went to see the OB last week and am finally on my way to treating the thing. The good news is that they are doing the tests. I am NOT going to make any baby announcements any time soon, but the OB said that it's not impossible for me to have one; not that I want one in the near future.

I was supposed to get the results yesterday but amidst the hustle and bustle at work, I forgot to drop by the clinic. I'll do it tomorrow, when the OB is there to read the results. I hope there will be no need for more blood tests - I detest them!

This has got me really interested in PCOS, though. Maybe I'll write an informative piece about it soon.

Doing the Right Thing

My parents raised me to do the right thing. At all times. Needless to say, I haven't always done the right thing. I have had my moments, and I am pretty sure I will have more.

Today, I was faced with a tough decision. I don't really want to divulge the specifics here, but let's just say that I knew what I had to do but that didn't mean I wanted to do it. Heck, it took me about 3 hours to do a 1-hour task!

Doing the right thing sucks sometimes. It can get people hurt. But it doesn't mean that I should blame myself. (I guess I am looking for some absolution here, in a way.) It doesn't mean that I should have done otherwise. I think I can sleep easy tonight, knowing that I was just doing my job. Then again, I would not be surprised if I had a nightmare or two...

September Is Too Far Away

I woke up with that Green Day song playing in my head...wake me up, when September ends...

I don't know why, maybe I heard it before going to sleep, but it reminded me off our (pending) September trip. I have filed leaves for the trip, but we don't really know where we're going yet. All I can think of right now is how much I wish it were September already! It's June, it's a Monday...sigh...

On another note, I recently took on a writing project for a European travel site. It never ceases to amaze me just how much of the world I haven't seen. There are so many places to go to, so many travel packages to look at; heck, you can even get specific packages for gay travel these days! Neither of us is gay, but I marvel at the wide array of options available to the modern traveler. Maybe I can find something like "lazy travel," or "bookworm travel." ;)

Home Staples

It's Saturday and it's Jerry's football day. SD, a friend of ours, recruited him for a football (American, not soccer) team and for a couple of weekends now, they have been going to QC every Saturday for practice. Jerry has this habit of eating a huge plate of pasta before practice. He says its for the carbs (this actually makes sense).

So anyway, there I was making tuna spaghetti when a thought occurred to me. There are certain things that I make sure I never run out of. And then I thought that it would be fun to make a list of the "staples," things that I make sure I always have at home.

Fridge

1. Butter - spread on bread, base for pasta sauce, substitute for oil; I always have a block of Anchor unsalted butter in the fridge.
2. Potatoes - Jerry eats everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - with potatoes. Filipino dishes that normally do not have taties, when prepared in my kitchen, must have taties. Ever had tinola with potatoes? :p
3. Water - this one's for me. I can forgo all other beverages, just don't take my water from me.

Pantry

1. Oil - olive oil and canola oil are staples for me. I love fried food (yeah it's not good I know) and it's the easiest to prepare. We also eat pasta a lot so we can't run out of olive oil.
2. Coffee, non-dairy creamer, and sugar - nothing more needs to be said. Well, to be honest, sometimes I run out of coffee grinds, but this happens once in a blue moon when our "supplier" forgets to get us some.
3. Herbs and spices - McCormick is my savior. I would love to have fresh herbs but they'd go bad before I can use them. So instead, I stock up on those bottled herbs and spices, courtesy of McCormick. Sage, thyme, Italian seasoning, Spanish paprika, cayenne pepper, curry powder, black pepper, rosemary - can't do without them!
4. Soy sauce, fish sauce, and vinegar - every Filipino pantry always has a bottle or two in stock. You simply can't cook anything without them!
5. Noodles - fettucini, spaghetti, bowtie, and shells - we always have a pack or two of uncooked noodles. Again, pasta is easy to prepare and filling as well.
   

Bathroom

1. Toilet paper - did you know that they once made Chuck Norris toilet paper? Unfortunately it wouldn't take shit from anyone! Seriously, we would die if we didn't have TP at home. We always have rolls and rolls of TP. No ifs or buts.
2. Bath soap, facial wash, shampoo, and all the other stuff - we all need these things.

Miscellaneous stuff

1. Candles - have I told you that I am a candle freak? I can't get enough them - scented or not. I have a huge bundle of the plain white ones, in case the power goes out (never mind that the building has a generator and that we have a brand new flashlight). I have tea lights for the oil burner. I have scented candles galore - lavender, citronella, vanilla, orange....
   
2. Essential oils - it's an extension of the candle thing. I love a good smelling house and it seems that I am never satisfied. So I have vials of all sorts of essential oils, and my stock just keeps on expanding.
3. Trash - paper, facial tissue, dirty clothes, ash, dirt - I don't know why but it seems that a day after the cleaning lady leaves, trash is everywhere. Maybe it has something to do with the person I live with? :p

What can I find in YOUR home? Hmm, I should make this into a tag...Vicki, Livi, Delaney, Retired One, Holly, Hannah, Avril, and Meleah!

That First Step

They say that the first step is always the hardest. When you find yourself at a crossroad, sometimes you end up dilly dallying so much that you get stuck there for the longest time. Taking that first step towards a goal is NOT that easy.

I have had this goal for the longest time now. Every year since I left university, I have been planning on doing this thing. I would even go as far as to ALMOST take that first step, and then I'd end up backing out anyway. This year, I have plans of pursuing this goal - again.

Is it going to be any different?

Perhaps. I have taken the first (formal) step towards it. I still have to see whether that step will yield results, but I am feeling good. That first step was hard to take but hey, I just might find myself going down a road that I have never been on. :)

So what is this goal? I'd really rather not say right now. Let's just say it's not about travel (although Vegas vacations sound pretty good right now). Neither is it about losing weight (yeah I know, that is another of my perennial goals). Just cross your fingers for me, will ya?

Home Maintenance = Headache

Times like these, I am glad that I don't own my condo. Have you ever noticed how, when one thing breaks down, every other thing in the house follows suit? First the toilet clogged (thank God the plunger worked magic). Then the light bulb in the bathroom burnt out. Then I noticed that the bathroom door is going bonkers. (Gotta look for discount door hardware.)

The good thing is that the landlord should cover the costs, but it's such a hassle to get in touch with the broker and reimburse and all that stuff...I can just imagine if I actually owned the place and had to do major repairs. Pfft.

Lotsa Plans

My friend and I were talking earlier on IM. As usual, we got to talking about the future. We're both only in our early 30s - I just hit the big 3-0 this year - but it seems that we're both tired and feeling burned out. Is this normal?

I realized that I have so many options before me. I have so many plans. I can save up for a couple of months and take time off and finally review and take the board exam later this year. I can go back to school and study something interesting. Heck, I can even go to medical assistant training school! (That thought came from the nice effeminate guy who took my blood at the clinic this morning, by the way. He seemed so happy with what he was doing.)

I just can't decide which route to take. Or maybe, I am hesitant to take that bold first step and get out of my comfort zone. I really want to become a librarian, pay be damned. But can I afford to give up a well-paying job that I also love doing? Oh choices...is this what being 30 all about?

Monday Blues With the Flu

Sure sucks staying home and not being able to do much. I've been wanting to take a break from work but the flu is paying me a visit right now and I'm not having much of a break. Even suckier is the fact that there seems to be no cure to this thing! Would that I only had to worry about acne treatments!

Anyhow, I can't bring myself to look for material for my Monday Pick Me Upper. Maybe later today? Or maybe someone can tell me what to take aside from tons of green tea (my throat can't take coffee right now for some reason) and Strepsils?