Men Are Like Rubber Bands

I know I am YEARS late but I have only recently discovered the much acclaimed book, Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus. I know that it reached the peak of its hype many years ago and for that reason, maybe, I didn't really feel inclined to read it. I have this aversion to jumping into the bandwagon when it suits me, you know. Anyhow, my sister lent it to me last weekend and I have been reading several chapters each night before I went to bed.

Last night I was reading about men being similar to rubber bands - that they have moments wherein the have to pull away and be by themselves.  Women should respect this need and let them go as they would always come back - better than they were before.  I don't know if I am interpreting this correctly but I realized that when Jer wants to go out and drink - not always with me, though he doesn't seem to mind when I go -  it's probably this stretching process at work.  I just need to learn to let go.

And I did last night.  He told me the day before that he wanted to drink and I was actually surprised at myself because I didn't resent it.  So I went home and wrote, did some chores, read my book, and went to bed.

SLAM!  That's what woke me up around 3 am.  Jer got home fuming - he got jumped again!  Now I don't know about you but one of the worst ways you can get woken up is by a slamming door and a shouting husband.  What was worse was that he told he several guys jumped him up our street and hit him so he hit back. He was not really hurt - a small cut on his cheek and on his lip but the some of the guys got hurt and the others threatened to shoot him.

I am really worried now.  I mean, this is my home.  I want to feel safe here but suddenly I don't.

At A Loss

Someone once told me that when you find yourself at a loss for words when writing, it may be that what you are feeling is too hard for you to face. It may be that what you are thinking is too frightening for you to see in black and white. You may not be ready to see your thoughts translated into something as tangible as written work.

"You are screaming inside but you can't be heard." - Sarah McLachlan

A Visit to the Doctor

I can't remember the last time I went to the doctor - until the other day, that is. I got to Eastwood early enough so I thought I would go to the bank to take care of some things first. It took me 30-45 minutes just to do a simple thing - what did I expect? Banks over here are like that. Anyhow, as each minute passed by I was getting more and more irritated and agitated. Soon enough, I felt my hyperacidity getting worse.

I was not feeling well in the first place but I guess my agitation made it worse and as I was walking out the bank, I felt this intense pain in my chest, spreading all the way up my back. I knew it was just heart burn as it has happened before but the pain was of a different level so I went to MD Eastwood.

Lucky me, they had no doctor till 3 pm and it was only 2. So down the stairs I went to look for Borough. I guess that by the time I got there I was already sweating and breathing really heavily so they took me straight to the procedure room once I told them I was having chest pains and that I couldn't breathe.

I have heard that Borough's service really sucks - you have to wait forever for the doctor to see you. Well I guess you just have to look really sick and tell them you're in such pain - they'll get right on it. They gave me oxygen, took an ECG (my heart's normal woohoo), got blood samples, and a urine sample. Afte 2 or 3 hours of resting in the room, my blood pressure (which was sky high when I arrived) went down to normal.

What stressed me a bit was that the doctor kept thinking I was pregnant so she was adamant that we get the results of the test before giving me medication. I was in pain but we had to wait. In the end, everything turned out fine. She just told me - get rid of cigs, coffee, and stress. So kill me now!

So here I am, reduced to half a cup of coffee in a day, 2 or 3 cigs (not bad, I really want to quit), bland food, and expensive medicine. Oh, the stress is just as present as it always has been - you can't have everythin, can you?

Of Spooks and Sleep

Happy Halloween, I guess. I've never been one to celebrate this holiday to the extreme. I do welcome the days off work but this year, I had only one day off. I envy those who are on Philippine holidays - they only had to work 2 days this week! Unfortunately for me and Jer, the French and the Koreans do not take November 2 off. Well, I got almost 20 hours of sleep out of the single day off I had so I suppose that is some consolation.

I can't believe I slept through a Spurs game - the first of the season, too! I was trying to stay awake in the middle of the afternoon but after a night with lots of wine (company Halloween party) and several hours more with Jer and friends and Earl at Gweilos, my body just needed sleep - and lots of it.



I don't feel like going to work today, though. Since I didn't get to work yesterday (sleep), I kinda feel like I have lost my momentum. I did write a lot in advance for my blogs today so that's fine. I am sure when I get to the office later, I'll have my work mood back.

Speaking of mood, last night we watched Monster. It's this movie based on the true story of a real life serial killer - a whore who ran into a lot of bad luck and made a lot of bad choices. She ended up being executed. It was one of the most depressing movies I have ever seen. I went to sleep feeling drained and ranting at life in general.

It made me think - do we have real choices in our lives? Why couldn't have God made it to where we had better choices or we had enough sense to make the right ones?